“Dancing On The Ceiling”; “Dancing In A Minefield”; “Dancing In A Storm”
Biblio File column
Chico novelist, poet, and former foster child Hope Hill finds in her free verse a kind of liberation. In three books of poetry, texts are centered on each page but without titles or periods and flow as if they were ribbons dancing in the wind.
Each book, independently published, is $5.00 in paperback (also for Amazon Kindle). “Dancing On The Ceiling” is a meditation on suffering. “Every adult says/ The nightmares in daylight/ Will never go away/ But you have to get over it/ The truth is, you can’t/ Cause the nightmares/ I have in daylight/ Are one hundred percent real/ Not monsters under my bed/ But people attacking me/ Bad memory after bad memory/ Flooding my mind/ Searing my brain” the poet writes.
“Dancing In A Minefield” is explicit about poetry as therapy. “Can you explain/ Why I must pour out these words/ Or risk losing my sense of self?” And: “I could no more cease writing/ Than I could unmake myself”—and yet there are moments that nearly do unmake the poet:
“I’m dancing in a minefield/ Twirling amidst the explosions/ Wondering when I’ll shatter/ And fall apart once more” but then: “As I write I find the truth/ For I have answers I must find/ And they are hidden in my mind” amidst trauma, fear, shame. “Being mentally ill/ And disabled as a result/ Of said mental illness/ Means that PTSD/ Affects every aspect of my life” the poet says.
“Dancing In A Storm,” the third volume, is “about survival”: “I’m writing this/ For future me/ I want to remember/ That I fought/ To stay alive/ It wasn’t always easy/ But it was always worth it/ And when the storm clouds lift/ As they always do/ I’ll remember/ That the sky/ Was crying for me” writes the poet.
The poet’s task is not to escape the past, but to integrate it with one’s very self. “I’m autistic/ And changing that/ Would mean I wouldn’t/ Recognize myself/ I don’t know who I’d be/ Without it”—Hill’s writing takes the reader on a harrowing yet celebratory journey as the poet is “writing myself sane.”
Copyright Chico Enterprise-Record; used by permission